


Solitude is Bliss - a reylo au

by protectbensolo



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, American Football, Angst, Angst and Feels, Cheerleaders, Enemies, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Romance, F/M, Falling In Love, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, High School, Homecoming Dance, Resistance, Sexual Frustration, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn Rey/Kylo Ren
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-21
Updated: 2020-07-11
Packaged: 2020-09-23 14:34:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 21,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20341702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/protectbensolo/pseuds/protectbensolo
Summary: A CHEER CAPTAIN AND A QUARTERBACKTwo opposites from rival sides. What happens when they meet under unlikely circumstances? How long will it take for them to realise the importance of the win is only a scratch on the surface of the depths of competition? Who can prevent enemies from falling for the wrong person? After all, the course of true love never did run smooth…





	1. Chapter 1

“And a 1, 2, 1 2 3 4!”

A dozen glitzy flyers sprung into the air, revolving as they rose, neatly caught by the bases holding their ground. They flipped, spun and stomped their way with roaring applause from the bleachers. A new routine, sharp, quick, powerful. The girls’ hair scraped back with tight bows, white and blue, skirts to match, and pink lips. They were feminine, they were strong.

“5, 6, 7, 8” 

The other team counted in, soaring into action. They too, were neat but with a stoic precision that never faulted, wobbled or buckled. They rounded off, receiving deafening cheers from their side, smirking, a slight upper hand. The band began to play. The home team wore black and red, players had dark markings across their cheeks. Undefeated champions, arch enemies. The game had begun.

* * *

Rey thudded her locker open, hastily unzipped her bag. The girls had a cheerful buzz, but she was clouded over. Captain of the cheer team in a school that was _again_ defeated at the last hurdle by the Black Panthers of First Order High. Their cheer team were slicker, tumbles more efficient, clean, form spotless.

“Ok!” She announced. “Next training session has been moved to Monday.”

“Instead of Wednesday?” A short flyer, Connix, asked.

“Nope. _As well _as Wednesday.” The girls groaned as Rey slung on her hoodie and left the locker room.

“You’re booking me out twice next week girly?” Asked the coach, Ms. Organa, catching up with Rey who was speed-walking down the hall.

“If that’s what it takes.”

“Isn’t that a little harsh? That was the first game of the season!” Rey stopped, and looked her coach in the eye.

“Ms. Organa, this is my last year at Resistance High, my last year in blue and white. I can’t let us be defeated by the Panthers again!”

“Alright so the players lost one match- “

“This isn’t about football. I don’t care about football! This is about cheer, and we were sloppy out there today, the First Order was tight. I know our players can get us to the final, we have to help them win.” With that, she swung open the front doors and let them collide in defiance. Rey unlocked her truck and flicked on the radio, waiting for the others, and drowned out her bad mood. Her car was rust red, open in the back and barely breathing, but gifted to her by her foster mother, Maz Kanata, so she loved it closely. Eventually, her friends Poe, Finn and Rose arrived but immediately she knew something was wrong. Poe Dameron, Captain of the White Tigers, was covered in blood, mumbling that he was fine, still in his football jersey and boots.

“What the hell happened?” Rey turned to him, offering rags from the bottom of her car.

“Idiot got into a scuffle with the Panther Captain, probably got his nose broke,” Finn replied, pinning Poe down and dabbing at his nose. Finn was in navy blue and white sweats, on the bench for the match, but now wrestling the Captain to attend his wounds. Finn’s loyal girlfriend, Rose, still in her blue band uniform, looked on in concern.

“I’m fine, I am _fine_,” insisted Poe, “just take me home, please.”

They drove, mostly silently, only to the crackle of the radio, in strange spirits. Poe’s nose was stuffed with bloodied tissue, Finn and Rose clasped hands and hummed to the songs, and Rey concentrated on the road. She dropped Poe off first, and as he thanked her, she asked him only why he picked a fight.

“I was just pissed. They played dirty. Fouled. But got away with stuff.”

“So, you go to the reff.” Finn interjected, “you can’t fucking fight Kylo Ren, he’s built man, he’s a beast.”

“If it’s broken you owe me $10!” called Rose as Poe limped up his garden path, greeted in the dim light by his overzealous golden retriever.

“BB-8 will look after him,” laughed Rey, and she turned up her radio.

* * *

“Panthers! Panthers! Panthers!” repeated the team, still, not over their victory, although it was a good one, he had to admit. Kylo rinsed his knuckles for the fifth time, not wanting their coach to think he was weak enough to start fights. When he left the bathroom the team cheered again, most of them changed back into trackies, and filtering out between embraces and fist-bumps. Unlacing his black boots, Kylo felt the presence of his _favourite_ Half Back hovering behind him.

“Hux. What’s it this time?”

“Nothing. Nothing.”

“_What?”_

“I just thought I’d warn you they didn’t use their strongest Quarterback, I saw that Finn guy was on the bench.”

“Yes. Thank you, Hux.”

“If they’d played him, we would have been done for, Ren,” Hux seemed delighted in the fact that he might have pointed something out that the Captain hadn’t noticed. But of course, he knew Finn, the infamous player who had transferred from their team to Resistance High two years ago. A traitor. This snapped something deep within Kylo, the snarl of Hux’s whiney voice, the condescending looks, the fact that his teammates’ side was clearly weaker throughout the whole game. Under this snap, Kylo wrenched Hux against the lockers by his shirt, so that his feet kicked freely underneath him. Kylo turned red, puce, purple in rage as he brought his face close to his teammates’ so that his spit would bounce and punctuate every word.

“Thanks. For. Your. Insight. Panther.” And released him at the sound of footsteps passing by.

Hux let out a pathetic squeak, but composed himself as their coach, Mr. Snoke, entered.

“Not bad boys, a nice little home game,” he announced to the two of them, “but I expect more from that Defense. Watch your team, Ren.” He turned on his heel and exited down the hall, black tracksuit blending into the night. Kylo knew the coach was never satisfied, although they brought the trophy home every year that he was Quarterback. Which had been the past three years. He slammed his locker shut and shouldered past Hux and into the parking lot, dumping his body into his black Jeep. Out of his rear-view mirror, Kylo saw his mom, Leia Organa slip into her own white minivan and she briefly caught his eye and smiled. He scowled, darker than ever, and sped away before she had a chance to try and talk to him, as they hadn’t, not properly, for a good few months now, resulting in Kylo staying with his older college friend, Phasma, in her apartment. Once on the road, he flipped open his glove compartment and reached for an old photo of his grandfather, when he was young, standing proudly with his team. It felt good to be like his grandfather, whether or not his parents approved, thought Kylo as he drove into the night.


	2. we don't talk together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a mysterious football scout arrives, rey finds herself in unexpected circumstances, and who is that boy with the long hair?

“Poe! Poe! You _have _to come to training. Poe!” Rey hammered at his front door, sending the dog barking wildly. She had been sent by Finn and the team to retrieve their dumbass Captain who had called in sick since his fight with Kylo Ren. Presumably owing Rose $10 for a broken nose, but what other ailments Rey did not know.

“Poe, I have to go to cheer practise, I can’t be late, but listen to me there is a _scout_ at your training ground, repeat _Han Solo_ is at your training ground!” She yelled.

“_What?_” Poe whipped the door open, nose and eye area bruised and stitched up badly.

“Woah, that Panther dude really messed you up, huh?”

“That _Panther dude_ happens to be Han Solo’s son, and the best revenge would be to get scouted onto his team,” smirked the Tiger Captain, grabbing his bag. “Let’s go.”

Training went as usual for Rey, the girls seemed fairly tight, but her and coach Organa found a few areas to straighten out. As a vital base, she couldn’t afford one moment of distraction, which proved to be a huge challenge when one of the leading high school football scouts was watching her friends on the opposite side of the pitch. Rey eyed the scout, Han Solo, who was wearing a leather jacket and parading through the stands, watching the players. Occasionally, she noticed he would mutter things to his right-hand, a tall bearded man with long brown hair, who would write them down in a notebook, nodding feverishly. At the end of training, Rey couldn’t sit still as he had called over her best friend, the best Quarterback in Resistance High, and was talking to him.

“What’s he saying to Finn?” Rey ran over to Poe.

“I don’t know, but it looks interesting.” She knew this would be hard for Poe to take, if Finn was scouted and not him, but they were such good friends that she knew they’d always support each other. It seemed Finn had the upper-hand here, scouts knew he was a great player from his time at First Order High, although Finn always said that style of playing never suited him. He eventually jogged over to them, beaming.

“He wants to watch our next match. He wants to see me play!” Finn exclaimed, spinning Rey into a hug. He looked at Poe.

“Of course, that means he’ll see all of us, obviously.”

“No no, Finn, its ok, I’m happy for you.” Poe smiled.

“I have to call Rose!”

* * *

Over at the Black Panther’s training ground, Kylo was done for the day and exhausted. What he didn’t need was Mr. Snoke coming up to him outside to discuss tactics as he waited for his ride. Snoke lit a cigarette and even offered one to the Captain, who declined, moodily. “Hux is really coming along as a Running back, don’t you think?” Kylo rolled his eyes.

“Sure.” he replied.

“Hey, I heard your dad was scouting at Resistance today, that must be tough.”

“Mmm,” Kylo kicked off from the wall as Phasma rolled up in her silver convertible.

“I’m here if you need to talk!” called the coach, as the car spun away.

“Asshole, fucking asshole, knows I hate Hux, knows I hate my dad, dickhead.” Kylo grumbled for no one but Phasma to hear. To which she simply replied, “watch your language Ren, my girlfriends at home.”

* * *

The next football match saw Resistance High playing Takodana School, an easy win. It allowed the White Tigers to show off Finn, their Quarterback, through strong Offense and solid points. It also allowed Rey’s cheerleaders to tighten up their routine, against the Green Giants’ girls who barely choreographed a tumble. Because of this, Rey allowed herself to watch from afar, stepping out of this game to let the other girls perform, but, as the game commenced and the cheerleaders sat neatly on the side, Rey realised she had no one to sit with, so wandered up the bleachers to a seat far enough back not to be noticed, but close enough to spot Finn. Unfortunately, she found herself surrounded by rowdy Takodana fans, none of them in green, the school’s colour, but all of them in black. They seemed to be laughing, jeering at the team, but Rey felt too awkward to move. She noticed one boy, cheering on Takodana, who seemed to have noticed her too. He had longish black hair, sharp features, but round, warm eyes, that locked onto her. He was tall, towering, and broad-shouldered, muscular, clearly a football player. He was a stranger, yet there was something familiar about him. She tried to stop herself from staring at his arms in that tight black t-shirt, but couldn’t help herself. While his friends remained laughing and shouting, he approached her.

“I’m so sorry, but do I know you from somewhere?” He clearly felt the similarity, too. Rey tried not to overthink everything as she calculated a reply.

“I don’t… think so, but I thought- “

Suddenly, the pitch erupted into cheering, Resistance had scored, and Rey leaped out of her seat, knowing this was huge for Finn. The boy looked at her, surprised at her passion.

“Sorry, I- it’s my friend who scored, well led the pass…”

“You know your football, huh?” he sounded impressed. “And the White Tigers too…I’m more a of Green Giant myself.”

“Really?” she doubted it.

“No. But if Takodana win, it’s better for my team.” he said quietly, nodding at some of his friends that were cheering on the players in green. One of them even had a little flag.

“Huh…”

He lingered a while, as she stood on the bleachers slightly above him, she was still only just his height. “I’m Ben, by the way.”

“Rey,” she smiled.

“There’s uh- um, we’re going to a, kinda, party, after the game if you wanna come,” he stuttered. To see such a powerful guy tripping so much on a sentence seemed hilarious to Rey. Ben was the prettiest person she’d met, probably ever, all dark hair framing angular features, and she longed to go to that party with him. But she couldn’t.

“Thanks, but, I have to- well, um my friends…” she motioned at the pitch, unsure how to explain.

“It’s cool, no, I get it, but if you change your mind…” he stepped down to where his friends were standing, now chanting a player’s name. He walked backwards, nearly tripped, and stumbled, all the while looking back up at her. One of his friends turned to him and pointed towards the field, before looking back up at Rey and nudging him in the stomach. He dodged away and lifted his arm to scratch the back of his neck, and Rey noticed the tip of his ears poking red out of his black hair.

* * *

Concentrating on the boring game was bad enough, but far worse when Kylo knew _she_ was sitting behind him. And why had he introduced himself as Ben? No one had called him that since he lived with his parents, it no longer fit him, it was too frail. But she supported the White Tigers, went to Resistance probably, and he wanted to pretend to be someone else for one night, pretend to not be an enemy on the pitch. Not that it mattered anymore, she declined his offer. Rey, in her warm burgundy hoodie and jeans, battered converse, but sparkling green eyes. With soft brown hair around her face, a face that lit up when her team scored, yet who sat alone on the stand, eyes boring into his back. When the game was over and the Tigers had won, Kylo spun around to expect to see her smiling jubilantly, then turning to leave. Instead, he saw her watch the players on the field run to each other, hug each other, he watched the Quarterback kiss a brass player, and knew she needed cheering up. Her eyes floated down to his, and a solid determination spread across her face. Stuffing her hands into her pockets, she strode towards him.

“I’m taking you up on your offer.” she said firmly.

“Brilliant.” he replied. “Everyone, this is Rey.” he announced to the group, who cheered and greeted her back in response. She looked surprised that he’d remembered her name.

“I hope you don’t mind my driving, since most of these idiots are drunk.” Kylo wanted to reassure her, she didn’t seem the type for drinking, yet when Phasma offered her a swig of rum, she accepted and swallowed the drink without flinching. They all walked and stumbled down to the parking lot.

“I like her, she’s hot.” Phasma slurred, tapping on the Jeep as if magically opening it. Her girlfriend, Greanne, seemed less than impressed, but Rey laughed along as they all piled into the car. Kylo sat in the driver’s seat, mildly disappointed that Cornerback Datoo took shot-gun, with the girls in the back. He felt flustered while driving, trying to concentrate on the road while the passengers had loud conversations and listened to pounding music. He was aware of Rey, behind him, quiet but smiling, her hand on the back of his head-rest. These thoughts were swimming when he swerved and nearly hit a car to the side, cursing.

“Kylo! Watch it, man!” Datoo urged him, making the situation far worse by calling him that.

* * *

When they arrived at the house, whoever it belonged to, Rey should have felt cautious, anxious, but for some reason she trusted Ben and felt warm whenever he was around, as if he let off a golden glow, lit from within. She just felt curious. Out of the car, the others staggered in the direction of the liquor store, while Ben gestured towards the door with pulsing music coming from behind it. The house was busy, with a pool table covered in red cups, lanterns hanging round the front porch, wooden floors and brown leather sofas. The room pumped with hormones, alcohol, the smell of sweat and smoke and deep laughter. There were girls clinging onto their jock boyfriends, groups huddled in circles or dancing, people dotted down the hallway and stairs. Ben expertly weaved through the sloppy teenagers and awkwardly began pouring the two of them a coke, seeming distracted, distant.

“Oh, you can drink whatever, I just thought- “

“No this is great thanks.” Rey had so many questions.

“Whose house is this?”

“Our Wide Receiver, Rodinon,” he replied, before yelling, “hey Rod!” and waving across at a lanky blond guy who waved back. He was wearing a black and red tracksuit, Rey noticed, and as he turned back to his group, there was a Black Panther decoratively sprawled across the back. Panthers, Kylo, Rey had put two and two together, but had no idea what to do, or how to approach that fact that she was in the house of the enemy team. Ben guided her to the seating area, where he perched on the couch, as she took the armchair. He seemed a little uptight, almost nervous, as Rey began,

“I have to ask, why did that guy call you Kylo? Is Ben your real name?” They were sitting close, close enough to hear their voices over heavy music, close enough to see the bright copper speckles in his eyes, the constellations of moles across his cheeks. Ben shifted.

“It started as what my teammates called me, a nickname, to scare the other side I guess. Then it kinda just stuck. My real name is Ben Solo.” he added, whispering, “but not many people know that.”

“Then why are you telling me?” Ben looked as if he was going to answer but the others began piling in from outside, leap-frogging onto the couch armed with alcohol, and blunts, lighting them. It filled the air with a stench, of teenagers, of hazy drunkenness, and Rey felt uncomfortable, like Ben had misled her and lied to her. He was Kylo Ren, he had beaten up Poe, he was Captain of the Panthers, and yet he was squeezed on the end of a couch filled with partygoers, he was completely sober, and staring at her.


	3. vice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the confusion of the night is rapidly interrupted by the arrival of an uninvited guest, and how can rey explain what the tidal waves of emotion lead her to do, to a boy she barely knew?

She had mumbled something, but he was too distracted by looking at her, trying not to stare, not wanting her to feel weird, but still entranced by the curve of her shoulder blades, her thin fingers round her cup, her lips as she talked.

“What?” he asked, raising his voice over the music.

“I said, you beat up my friend real bad,” she was sulking, realising who he really was.

“Listen,” Kylo tried to reason with her, thinking of what to say. The only thing he could conjure up was another jab at his father, knowing now that he was scouting the Tigers.

“My father can’t be trusted, your friend- your friend shouldn’t sign with him.”

“Oh, just because you wished it were you, well it’s not.” Rey stood up and started towards the exit, annoyed. Kylo rushed after her, attempting to explain.

“It’s not that, listen to me!” His blood was pumping as he grabbed her wrist, stopping her.

“He will disappoint you, and your friends.”

“All you _care_ about is winning a damn football game,” she shrugged out of his grasp. Rey was leaving, and she looked scared.

“It’s not just a game to me,” he ran after her out of the front door, “don’t you understand? It’s my _life,_ my_ future_,” he tried to grab her again, to get her to realise her mistake, to stay.

“_Get off of me!_” Rey cried, tearful, shocking Kylo into letting her go. He stopped still and watched her run down the drive straight into the strong arms of a tall black guy; it was Finn the Resistance Quarterback, who seemed to have figured out she was here. Worse still, he was flanked by Chewie and Han Solo, they must have left the game together. Kylo’s face drained of blood to see his father standing there, and with a Tiger no less.

“No, not you!” he yelled as Han tried to approach him. Kylo turned on his heels and began sprinting back up the drive towards the house. How can he be here? How_ dare_ he be here?

* * *

“BEN!” Rey heard the scout yell and turned through the strong grasp of Finn to see Kylo, Ben whatever his name was, stop dead in his tracks. He wheeled around to face the man Poe told her was his father, Han Solo. Kylo had a grim expression, a darkness clouded over him as the lights from the party flickered and lit up the side of his face. The music seemed to dull, the shout was so loud, and faces peered through the windows onto the drive where they were standing. Han slowly began to walk towards Kylo, who shakily started to speak.

“That name, means _nothing_ to me,” he told his father. Then why had he told it to her?

“It’s the name of my son.”

“Your son was weak, and foolish so I destroyed him.” Han Solo paused. He softened.

“It isn’t too late to come home. Your mother and I still love you.” Ben seemed to wince at this statement, like it had sliced him in half. Rey sensed his pain, and a strange part of her wanted to run to him, comfort him, but Finn held her tightly.

“Prove it to me. Sign me, and not _him_.” Ben darted his gaze in their direction, and Finn tensed around her. This isn’t the way it was supposed to go. Rey felt anger, frustration, longing.

“You know I can’t do that.” Han replied.

“Fine. Sign the other side. To spite me, I know that’s why.” Han Solo’s expression remained stern, little remorse, serious.

“You know what _Ben_, no. I won’t let this split us. I’m done. I quit- as I can’t sign both of you I won’t sign either of you.” He turned to where Finn and Rey stood and mouthed “I’m sorry,” leaving his son shaking on the driveway, in anger, fear, heartbreak. As soon as Han had left, Ben tore into his black Jeep, not taking a second to glance back at Rey. He sped off, and she could feel his utter defeat as Finn sprang into action, scooting round to his car door and turning on the engine.

“What are you doing?” Rey got in next to him, panicked. She had never seen Finn this angry, he was panting, seeing red, fists clenched.

“Do you think I’m letting that asshole get away with that? He just _ruined_ my chance at a scholarship,” Finn swerved his car after Ben’s Jeep, speeding, “because his daddy wouldn’t listen to him.”

“Finn slow down, we can work this out,”

“We definitely can, I’m going to kill him,”

“Don’t say that.” They followed the car darting through residential roads until it screeched to a halt on the side of a forest. They saw a dark figure hop out of the Jeep and enter between the trees. Finn got out and sprinted after him, Rey trailing behind. The forest was dimly lit from local streetlamps, and moonlight flooded down from overhead, but it was haunting and black, far too easy to get lost in. Rey soon realised that the boys had found each other and Finn was pushing at Ben’s chest, aggressively trying to get him to fight back. He was shorter than Ben, but snarling, shouting insults into the night. Rey watched, rooted to the ground as Ben looked down on her friend, balled his hand into a giant fist, and upper-cut him, straight to the jaw, knocking him out cold.

“Traitor!”

“FINN!” Was all Rey could scream, frantically running to him and kneeling at his side, talking to him, trying to wake him. She felt Ben behind her, pacing, his guilt radiated off him, why wouldn’t he leave? He’s a coward, that’s why. Rey felt disgust boiling under her ribs, disappointment, rage. She heard his footsteps come up behind her. She heard him softly say her name. Nothing could stop her. She waited, poised, until he was close enough behind her, and slammed him, hard, where it hurt. Between the legs and he buckled over, stunned, staggering backwards. Rey stood up, stood over him and felt pity, he was at her mercy, she felt power. She had always been protective over her friends, but this asshole had tried to lie to _her,_ tried to manipulate _her_. Rey kicked him, square into the shoulder, felt his firm body crumple against her force. He twisted, falling backwards, face first into the bark of a tree. She turned back to Finn to try and wake him, but terrified, she glanced behind her to see Ben, slumped against the tree, and there was blood. Rey gasped sharply, too scared to go over to him, too scared to think about what she’d done. Was he even alive? She was panicking, shaking, when a flashlight waved over them and Han Solo’s burly, bearded business partner found them, and helped Finn up. Rey didn’t know if the man saw Ben, and left him, or didn’t see him at all, lying there, blood covering most of his face, watching them, broken, as they walked away.

* * *

All Kylo remembered of the rest of that night was some of his drunken teammates, tripping over roots with flashlights towards him. Hux was with them, that sickly, smarmy son-of-a-bitch. Bet he would use this against him for eternity. They lifted him, dazed, in and out of consciousness, and drove him home. There were police by where the cars were parked and someone took his Jeep, he hoped it wasn’t Hux. Phasma helped him to his bed, holding wet rags to his forehead to stop the bleeding, no one said anything. Kylo drifted to sleep, dreaming of stars glinting through the trees, of his father turning his back on him, and of the girl whose ferocity seemed to send a crack through the Earth, and who knocked him off his feet, literally.

* * *

On Monday, Rey and Finn sat in their school cafeteria listening to Rose babble on about her recital on the weekend. She was showing clips to Poe excitedly, but the other two seemed positively glum. They kept glancing at each other, then the lunch on their plates, uneaten.

“Have you- “

“No, I haven’t heard anything.” Rey felt her throat tighten at the memory of Ben Solo’s pleading eyes, the cut down his head, the blood covering his hands, his neck. She felt sick. Just as Rey decided she couldn’t sit there pretending to eat, coach Organa tapped her shoulder and asked to speak with her. Rey would have to put on a game face as she dumped her tray and followed the cheerleading coach to the sport block.

“Is this about the next fixture, Ms. Organa?” she asked.

“No, actually Rey,” the coach led her into her office and locked the door. Rey looked round to see Han Solo standing in the corner, hands on his hips.

“This is about my son, Ben Solo.”

Rey immediately burst into tears, staring from Ms. Organa to Mr Solo, realising Ben was her coach’s son, blurting out about how she had no idea, it was an accident, she was so sorry.

“Hey, hey calm down, what are you talking about?” the coach guided her to a seat, crouching and comforting her. She shuddered, her lips trembling.

“Your-your son, he’s hurt- “

“He’s fine Rey, a little scraped up after the game…”

“Han, let me.” Ms. Organa interrupted. “Listen Rey. Ben’s car got towed and when police asked questions over the weekend, he kept mentioning your name, asking if you were alright. We didn’t want to worry you with police, but we need to ask… “

“I, I’m fine- “

“…Did my son, try anything with you, or hurt you in _any _way?”

“No! Not at all, no he didn’t.” Rey wiped her eyes and nose on her sleeve.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes! It was me who- “she looked at Han, “I was, just, I’m- glad he’s ok.” she was shaking, but relieved. The adults looked at each other, and smiled at her. How had Rey found herself so tangled in the mess of a boy she’d only just met? But felt like she’d known forever? They then heard the gentle rap of fingers on the office door. Coach Organa sighed and opened it, revealing the cheerful face of the White Tiger football coach, Mr. Skywalker.

“Are you guys coming?” he asked, as if he was a kid waiting for his parents, “oh, hiya Rey!”

“Hi, Mr. Skywalker.”

“Yeah, yeah we’re coming Luke,” the coach gathered her things, and looking down at Rey asked, “you don’t fancy the rest of the day off timetable do you? We have tea at home!”

Rey was taken aback by this offer, but loved her coach dearly, and really didn’t feel like sitting through the rest of the school day. She nodded and stood up with them.

“Headteacher won’t like you!” Mr Skywalker nudged the coach in the ribs, playfully, and Ms. Organa swatted him away.

“They’re twins,” whispered Han, holding the door for Rey and nodding at the two coaches. Ah, they’re twins, she thought. Of course they are.

* * *

Storming through the hallways, Kylo knew his coach would be pissed. But it didn’t match the amount of pissed he was. It’s not his fault for being late, he had to get stupid fucking stitches in his stupid ugly face. Slamming into the locker room, Mr. Snoke paused on the briefing he was giving the team and smirked, allowing other boys to look up and smirk also, Hux’s being the loudest. The coach continued, leaving Kylo to awkwardly undress and get stared at for his bruised and battered body. As the others were jogging out onto the training field, Snoke paused Kylo with the tap of his finger on his chest.

“Hux tells me you got beat up.” he didn’t respond. “By a girl.”

“Hux says a lot of _shit_,”

“Hey don’t you swear at me!” Kylo turned to leave. “Look at me!” Snoke tugged on Kylo’s football helmet, loosening it off his head, so it dropped to the floor.

“Oooh that is a nasty scar,” he inspected it closely, too close.

“Watch yourself man,” Kylo breathed.

“_You _watch yourself,” the coach shoved him into the lockers, laughing.

“It’s just a joke, just jokes…you know I’m always joking,” Kylo recovered and picked his helmet up from the floor. Snoke stood behind him, his voice rancid.

“Now get onto that field…_fucker._” It propelled the Quarterback forward, in fury, in fear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ummm another cheeky update, hope you enjoy ;) lots more to come, don't worry  
thanks for reading!


	4. bigger boys and stolen sweethearts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> rey explores kylo's complicated relationship with his family as she becomes tangled up in their everyday lives

Ms. Organa’s house was filled with cheer memorabilia from her, and football awards from her partner, the scout, Han Solo. Rey gazed at the photos of them when they were younger. It looked like the perfect high school romance, football and cheerleader Captains, White Tigers, both of them. There was also photos of Ben from when he was younger, smiling and laughing, with large ears protruding from floppy dark hair. Rey marvelled at how adorable he was as her coach arrived with a tray of coffee and tea, offering one to her.

“He was only seven in that photo…loved football even then.” Really? Thought Rey, or is it just all he’s ever known? Ben looked happy enough in the photos, but was he, really? Her heart sank for him, a soft swoop, like she was finally understanding. That week, Rey went for tea every evening with her coach, who Rey now called Leia, with Han and some days also with Luke, the football coach. Maz was open to the idea, because they were adults and teachers, but somehow to Rey they were more than that. They talked about so much, about everything, and were so welcoming, that strangely in the short time she’d spent at their house, they grew to be like a small family. Rey had never truly had a family, though she had Maz, she was stern and not so motherly, besides, she shared Maz with other kids. Leia and Han were her own, and Luke was like a crazy lovable uncle. Though Rey never forgot that this wasn’t her real family, it was stolen, she was a replacement, for Ben Solo. The boy she thought she’d killed, she thought she liked, then hated. The boy she felt such as strong connection to that she felt pulled towards his room anytime she went upstairs in Leia’s house, to the bathroom or to fetch something. His name was peeling from his door, in three letters cut from comic strips. Rey was drawn to it, like it was magnetised, pulsing, calling her name in his voice, louder and louder, until one day she turned the door handle, opening it with a click.

* * *

Kylo’s heart thundered in his chest, fluttering, as he drove away from the training ground. He recalled these roads from his childhood, they seemed so distant now, learning to drive along these quiet streets seemed a century ago, but it was a mere two years. Glancing down at his kit bag, he remembered the pent-up energy he had felt during that training session, the release of running, the slam, too hard into his teammate, knocking him to the ground. The apology, the sick feeling in his stomach that he had seriously hurt someone, the relief when the Half Back stood up, fine if a little shaken. The scowl from Snoke. Kylo snapped his glove compartment shut, not wanting to see the picture of his grandfather, and tightened his white knuckle grip on the wheel. Can I do this? He asked himself. Of course, you idiot. He turned into his parents’ road, and parked the car, a replacement, since he needed identity papers to get his Jeep back. The lengths he’d go to for that damn car. Even arrive at his least favourite place in the world, his parents’, to find those papers. Kylo knocked on the door a little too hard. After an agonising wait for it to open, it swung aside to reveal the surprised face of his mother. She looked grayer than ever, eyes wrinkled in shock of him standing there, too big for the porch, embarrassingly hopping his weight from one foot to another. He took a moment to take her in, to breathe.

“Ben?” her voice seemed older, worn down.

“I’m not staying.” he stated, brushing past her and swiftly taking the stairs two at a time. His long limbs had outgrown this house and he felt uncomfortable even breathing the air that reminded him of his past. Kylo burst into his old room and nearly smacked straight into the back of a girl, _the _girl who he couldn’t get out of his head- who was now standing in his childhood bedroom. Rey’s expression was almost comical in her astonishment, she was clearly mortified, but speechless, bumbling to put back the photos she was holding.

“What are you doing?” immediately her eyes went to his scar, he could feel them burning through the stitches.

“Oh my god…” was all she said, pink with embarrassment, and horror, at the mark she knew she’d made.

“It’s nothing.” Kylo stepped towards her, almost outstretching his arms, he was curious to see what she’d been looking at, why she was here. _How_ was she here?

“I’m sorry, I-I never should have- “

“Rey?” It was Luke’s voice, calling up the stairwell, calling for Rey. The voice made Kylo’s head spin, he felt nauseous, like he was suddenly on a boat and whipping wildly out of control. He couldn’t see Luke, couldn’t deal with his old coach, his supposed uncle in this house, especially not with Rey. Kylo steadied himself, and went to his desk drawer to grab the papers he needed. He heard footsteps on the stairs as Skywalker’s voice repeated her name. All Rey could do, was look on, concern plastered across her face. He wanted so badly to make her understand and get her away from this family. But this could not be the time, and definitely wasn’t the place. Kylo erupted from the room clutching the pages of forms and stormed past Luke, who was standing outside the door. He could not bring himself to look his uncle in the face let alone make eye contact. He practically sprinted out the house and to the car, shaking the papers wildly as he fumbled to unlock the door and slam inside. Kylo watched his mother run onto the driveway as the ignition started up, closely followed by Rey. The two of them slowed as the car began to pull away, Leia staring at her son dead in the eye as he drove past and rounded the corner with a shudder.

* * *

What Ben didn’t see as he sped away, was his mother heave over with panting breath, trying to hold herself upright as Rey ran over to her. She called for help from Luke and Han who arrived into the front porch as Leia dropped to her knees, struggling for air. They were panicked, frightened, as an ambulance was called and they took her away. Rey watched on as if it were in slow motion. Luke drove behind but dropped Rey off at Maz’s with a reassuring squeeze on her shoulder. But standing on the sidewalk, she felt anything but reassured. Rey had found a mother-figure in Leia Organa, and couldn’t lose her like Ben had. She would never take her for granted like Ben had. It made her livid, her blood molten and eyes blubbering. She entered her house and ran up to her room squeezing her face into her pillow with such force that yellow dots began to dance before her eyelids. It wasn’t fair. Rey flopped, face down on her bed, letting her tears soak into her pillowcase. Imagining that if she cried enough, they would sink into the floor then flow out to sea, that ebbed out and in with the tide, in a motion that brought Leia back from its depths, and pushed Ben Solo far away from her. The next week slumped by in a miserable cloud of rainy weather. It was as if Ms. Organa was the autumn sun, and had been hidden behind a gray haze. Rey pestered Luke for information about Leia’s condition, and although he often look exasperated with her persistence, kept her updated with news from the hospital. She was stable but still on a drip, staying for another few days, doing well. It was all Rey had to cling onto now she also had to run the cheer practise leading up to the next games. She also felt further from her friends, as if the Solo family were some alternate universe Rey had somehow found herself sucked into through a wormhole. She needed to keep busy, be helpful, so often walked Luke’s scraggly white dog, Artoo, or fed Leia’s sleek little cat, 3PO, who soon became accustomed to her presence. At times Rey felt as if she was intruding, annoying them, but they always greeted her with a smile, if a bit tired. Particularly encouraging was Han’s close friend and colleague Chewie, who Rey realised was the tall beardy guy who had helped them in the forest.

* * *

It was on one of Rey’s unnecessarily helpful dog walks that the heavens decided to open and pour down on her and Artoo, soaking through her thin gray hoodie. Kylo was struggling to see the road through his wind-screen wipers which were frantically trying to brush the water from his car. Through his spattered view he spotted two figures unsheltered in the downpour. He already felt like he knew who it was; one slender girl with wide eyes and dripping brown hair under a hood, one mess of white fur on a leash. Automatically, Kylo slowed to a halt and rolled down his window hoping to catch her eye, feigning reluctance. Rey didn’t notice him, head down against the rain. He opened his car door and leant out towards her.

“Rey!” the way his voice carried surprised him, Kylo was embarrassed at the tone of almost desperation. Immediately she looked up, caught off guard, but ran over to his car, letting the dog into the back and herself into shot-gun. He watched her take a breath, her gaze falling onto the flowers he had dumped on the back seat, beginning to frail. Then her eyes swung to the cigarette balanced between his fingers on the wheel. Instantly Rey looked pissed, grabbing his wrist and violently snatching the stub out of his grasp and tossing it out of the car window, turning to him.

“Smoking, seriously?” she looked genuinely furious, red in the cheeks from cold or rage. Every time Kylo tried to fathom her, she confused him further.

“It’s not that deep,” he replied, pulling out into the road.

“Uh, yeah it is. You’re an athlete. You have to think about your health.”

“Oh, athlete, fat lot of good that is now.” He responded, spiteful.

“Come on, you know what I mean.”

“No, I don’t. Why do you even care?”

“Because.”

At that point, the dog decided it would be appropriate to vigorously shake his soggy mutt fur all over the swish black interior of Kylo’s car.

“Great,” he complained, “I just got this Jeep back, now it’s gonna smell like wet dog.”

Rey didn’t laugh, or say anything, she just looked down at her rain-soaked hands, clearly irritated.

“Where am I taking you then?” Kylo’s voice was deep, disgruntled. The shower thundered on the roof of the car, screaming over their silence.

“Luke’s, if you even remember the way.” He could taste the bitterness in her tone as she turned back and took another look at the stupid pink flowers, and glanced across at him.

“You do know about your mother don’t you?” She asked. Kylo kept his eyes on the road, tightening his fist around the wheel.

“She’s in hospital.” Rey continued. He stared at the black tarmac.

“She’s ok. Home in a few days.” Kylo’s heart rate slowed but still battered against his ribcage, and he hoped Rey couldn’t hear the hammering. He remained glaring ahead, eyes narrowing.

“Do you even _care_?” She was facing him, he could feel it, feel her breath. Kylo knew it must seem insane to her, but Rey just didn’t understand, couldn’t. He could only try and make her see, the truth, as she was getting sucked into the exact same whirlpool that had chewed him up and spat him out, leaving him a castaway, a shell. The Jeep turned onto Luke’s road.

“Did Luke tell you what happened?” he asked her, quietly, calmly.

“I know _everything_ I need to, about you.” Her voice shook, like a rubber band pulled under heavy tension.

“You do?” He stopped the car outside his uncle’s apartment and shifted to look at her, to see her ferocity, her tight grip on her seatbelt. “Ah, you do.” he concluded.

“You’re just a- just a _monster_.” Rey spat the word out, like it tasted of vinegar, of acid, toxic. Kylo took one look into her eyes, held her gaze that dug into him, and twisted.

“_Yes I am_.”

With that, she dipped out of the passenger seat, collected the dog and slammed the door, probably with excessive force, that wavered the car as she stepped onto the curb. Before he even had chance to look at Rey in his rear-view mirror, Kylo found his foot flat against the gas pedal, screeching round the corner and fighting back new water in his view, although the sky was now clear. He brushed droplets from his cheeks so hard that it felt like a slap, it stung leaving his face raw and red. It didn’t hurt half as much as her words had. _Monster_. And she’d meant it, too. At Phasma’s apartment, Kylo quickly deserted the flowers, wincing at the painful embarrassment of queuing to buy them. He didn’t really know who they were for, to thank Phasma, probably, or perhaps to ask someone to homecoming, his lab partner, whatever her name was. They could have been for Rey, he thought, to apologise, or maybe even they were meant for his mom. Whatever it was, they now lay buried in the trash.


	5. wild guess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> kylo + surprise encounters = very flustered rey hehe

Rey stood in her base, holding Connix as she posed and vaulted, counted in time by the coach. Not their usual coach, a replacement, while Leia was gone, coach Holdo. Rey was indifferent to her, purple hair and all, but Poe Dameron was the one with the problem. He was always bickering with her, insisting that the entire sport department was falling apart without Ms. Organa, and that Holdo was responsible. Waiting for him again after practise, Rey was tired of hearing his complaints, and was just grateful that she no longer had to coach the team like she did in the first couple of weeks. After all, her head was constantly awash with Ben and the Solo family, which seemed to be all she could think about, trying her best to stay professional during practise. Her friends gradually met up with her, their ride, as was tradition, Finn draping his arms around Rose who took shotgun, slinging her band kit in the trunk, with Poe grumbling in the back seat. They began their journey home as Finn and his girlfriend started whispering and giggling at each other.

“You tell them!”

“No, you!”

“What, you guys?” Rey laughed, rolling her eyes.

“We are requesting, humble driver, if you could possibly drop us at the station tonight?” Rose replied.

“Huh, you going somewhere nice?” Poe asked.

“We’re investigating.” she giggled.

“Kinda, well- we’re looking into a scout that’s supposed to be really good, over at Canto Bight school.” Finn said.

“The private one? That’s on the other side of town!”

“Hence, station.”

“You’re gonna sneak in and try to get scouted?” Poe seemed suspicious.

“Uh-huh. Since that Black Panther bitch stole my shot.”

“How did you even find out about it? The scout, I mean.” Rey studiously ignored the bitch comment, although part of her agreed with Finn.

“Maz, actually.” This surprised Rey, who continued to forget that Maz Kanata knew their town like the back of her wrinkled hand, having been fostering people for decades. At the train station, she watched the couple retrieve their bags and wave off the truck, turning towards the entrance and grinning with newfound adventure. Rey heard Poe typing on his phone, and glancing in the mirror she decided to press him.

“Hey, what’s your deal with Ms. Holdo?” She watched him take a moment.

“I don’t know, man, she grinds my gears, easy to argue with.”

“Yeah, no shit.” Rey thought about how to reason with him. “Still, you won’t have to fight with her for much longer, Leia’s on the mend.”

“Ms. Organa? Thank God. You think she’ll come back?”

“I _know _she will.” Rey’s eyes glinted with determination.

* * *

Although the water was warm it felt like ice pouring out of the shower as Kylo stood seething in the wrong sport department at the wrong high school. At a crucial time in the season, the pipes had burst at the First Order training ground meaning their locker rooms had flooded. So, here he stood surrounded by blue and white tiles in Resistance High, while the freezing water blistered his skin. The rest of the team probably assumed Snoke had chosen to borrow the Tigers’ ground as it was the closest to their own, or even to jeer at their victory, but Kylo knew he was the reason, it was to grind him down. He dried off, slipping on Panther-themed joggers as he exited the shower block towelling his hair and following some other teammates to the lockers. He suddenly stopped still when he recognised yet again the freckled arms and pixie-like features of Rey, who was deep in concentration, tacking some sort of poster to the fixture wall. She looked up at the Panthers traipsing by, almost as if she was looking for him. He watched Rey’s eyes find him and flounder, the posters now fluttering to the floor as she received snickers from the boys. Kylo felt terrible so rushed over to her, helping pick up the pages. He noticed they were dates for cheerleading practises, meaning she was on the cheer team. Not only that, she was Captain. _How did he not know this until now?_ Rey’s face flooded with a deep shade of crimson, mumbling thanks under her breath. She may had just been flustered to see him in her school, or at her own clumsiness, but Kylo was sure it was the sight of him that made her shy, and he liked that power he held, and couldn’t help but smirk a little, quickly hiding it. He knew he was built for strength, always had been, broad and muscular, even from a young age he was lean, but people didn’t understand how strong he really was until they saw him shirtless, like Rey was seeing him now.

“Are you lost? The locker rooms that way.” She pointed, and Kylo realised he’d been standing there ogling at her for a few seconds too long.

“Actually, I need to talk to you.”

“At least put a shirt on first.”

He gripped her shoulders, ignoring her request with amusement, and guided her to what he remembered was the equipment cupboard. Kylo was only at Resistance for a semester, but spent the majority of that time in the sport department, naturally. Rey didn’t fight back, but left the piles of posters on the side and let him shut the two of them in the cupboard and flick on the light. It was a tight room, and he was hyper-aware of how close they were, what with him semi-naked and all. They were crammed between piles of rackets, basketballs and gym mats. What Kylo didn’t expect was for her to talk first, which she did, fervently.

“Why do you hate your parents?” he was taken aback. “They loved you, they gave a damn about you, so why do you hate them? _Why_?”

“I don’t hate them.” Their voices were hushed, undercover, but with urgency and emotion.

“Then why, why did you- why did you leave them?”

“I see you look for family in them, but I’m telling you- it’s a mistake.”

“You know _nothing_ about my family, my parents, nothing.”

“I know you always want what you can’t have.” He made his voice sound soft, caring. There was a long pause. “I don’t think Luke has told you the whole truth.”

“Liar.”

“Rey, I need you to listen to me.” he clasped her arms and bent down to look her in the eye.

“Please, just try to understand.” Kylo let the desperation ring in his voice, and Rey paused. She was listening, so he began to tell her everything. How he’d been sent off to train for football little-league since he can remember, how it was Luke who trained him, pushed him to the extremes. How he always saw a face in the crowd, at every match, always watching, hearing rumours about this guy, this face, the face of Snoke. Kylo told Rey that Luke would always been the harshest on him, his nephew, as he’d built a reputation with both his father and uncle playing at a professional level. That’s why Snoke watched all his matches, and why ‘Ben,’ was never good enough for Han Solo. There were stories about Snoke coaching the team at First Order High, and that they were close-knit and unbeatable, but like a family. Kylo remembers telling himself that when he started in high school, he wanted to be on a team like that. Not like the one that Luke moulded, and manipulated. But when he found out that Luke Skywalker would also be coaching at Resistance, young Ben Solo was devasted, though he tried to stick it out in Freshman year. He made the team, easily, but one night after a hard loss Kylo recalled to Rey, he realised he had to leave. Coach Skywalker took it out on him, his fifteen-year-old nephew, in a raging fit of temper and violence.

“He gripped my throat,” Kylo continued, “so hard I thought I was going to die.”

“It can’t be true...”

“That’s exactly what my parents said. They sided with him, and called me a liar, who only wanted the Tigers to fail. They didn’t believe me, but what reason would I have to lie to them?”

“But Luke told me that you hated them, all of them, had a vendetta against the team…”

“The only thing I did was accept Snoke’s offer, and I joined the Panthers with a few other boys. My father didn’t talk to me after that, and my mother only cared about me once I had become Kylo Ren.”

“I can’t… I don’t understand.”

“Please, Rey. No one else will listen to me. No one else sees. _You have to believe me_. I’m begging you.”

Suddenly their ears pricked at a sound coming towards to cupboard. Footsteps. They took one look at each other before dashing to hide.

* * *

Rey slid herself behind a stack of shelves and peered at Ben who had skilfully managed to squeeze himself between the mats, out of view. The store cupboard door burst open and Poe Dameron entered, grabbing a football pump from the shelf.

“Rey?” _Shit_. He had seen her. “What are you doing in here?”

“I am…” she improvised “…looking for thumb tacks. But there’s none in here, as it seems. So, I’m going. Let’s go.” She practically shoved him out of the room. Poe, looking bewildered, left with her and slapped off the light. Rey swiftly and silently flicked it back on and gently pulled the door to, so the half-naked boy inside had at least some chance of sneaking out without breaking a limb. It seemed wild that they were hiding in there, secret, almost caught, like a romantic novel, like a movie. She smiled to herself, before turning to Poe, who was sneering at some Panthers walking past the gym.

“Have you heard from Finn or Rose?”

“I have actually,” he replied, “after messaging them enough about Finn missing practise.” Poe swiped up his phone to read out a lengthy message from his friend. Him and Rey continued walking out of the sport block towards the pitch.

“Posh assholes, yadder yadder, didn’t find the right scout, blah blah, found a different one, not from Canto Bight School, but should be back before Homecoming.”

“Huh, Vaguer than vague as per Finn.”

“Damn-well better be back before Homecoming, best night of the year!”

“Homecoming, yeah.” Rey had completely forgotten about the dance, which was this Friday.

“Can we just all go as a 4?”

“Sure, I mean, yeah whatever- “

“OH, NO WAY!” Poe suddenly erupted into excitement.

“What?”

“That’s Mr. Yoda, over there! He was the coach before Skywalker, he’s legendary, I have to meet him!” He pointed towards a small wrinkled man in a white tracksuit, with wispy hair, in deep conversation with Luke. Poe was trying to drag Rey with him but she resisted, and he ran off in the direction of the track where the two men were talking, and where the rest of the Tigers were jogging round. After all, she wasn’t sure exactly how she felt about Ben’s uncle, or where she stood with him. Instead, Rey headed towards her car but was nearly run over by the large black minibus filled with Black Panthers, and driven by a tall bald man. She figured that must be Mr. Snoke, the coach, who’s mouth seemed to turn up at the sight of her dodging out of the way. Peering through the bus’s tinted glass, Rey saw Ben’s mop of dark hair as he leant upon the window, catching her eye. She smiled at him, subtle, but wanting him to know exactly how she felt, and that was belief. Rey believed him, she believed _in_ him. He smiled back, not so subtle, beaming and sincere. It made her heart flip, just like when she had caught him smirking at her gawping at his chest. His shoulders, carved like a marble statue, his upper arms, glimpses of abs. The thought of him yet again made Rey ruffled, and she sat in her truck, controlling her breathing. A hammering on the car window quickly interrupted this and she turned to see Ms. Holdo, eagerly tapping on the glass, which Rey rolled down to speak to her.

“It’s Leia. She’s home! I’m going over there now.”

“Brilliant, I’ll come too.” she replied. Holdo’s grin dulled a little at Rey’s enthusiasm.

“I think it’s just close friends and family, dear, but I’ll tell you everything when I see you.”

Trying to hide her disappointment, Rey watched as the coach smiled and bounced back over to her own purple metallic car, rounding the corner in the direction of the Organa-Solo’s house. She considered following, but again ignored her instincts. She wasn’t close family, but Ben _should _be, and would be again, one day. Besides, her phone was ringing, and Rey switched it onto speaker-mode as she began her journey home. Finn’s cheerful voice filled the car, and she laughed along as he recounted tall-tales from his adventure with Rose. He was giggling, recounting how his girlfriend had ‘accidently,’ knocked down Canto Bight School’s trophy cabinet, how a bunch of private school boys had chased them down the street meaning they had bumped into another football scout and eventually befriended him.

“Is he legit though?” Rey responded.

“Seems it, and said he’d be at the final, whoever’s playing.” She pondered this, First Order High had smashed all of their matches so far, so would inevitably end up in the high school final. Resistance had lost one, won one and drawn one, meaning if they won Saturday’s match against the Polar Bears from Hoth School, and scored enough against the Golden Griffins of Canto Bight on Tuesday, the Tigers had a strong chance of playing the Panthers once again, in the final. Rey swallowed down this thought as her nerves bubbled up.

“That’s great, Finn, I’m so glad for you. See you at Homecoming?”

“We’ll be there.”

The phone hung up and Rey grabbed it, entering her house and greeting Maz. The elderly caregiver tugged on her to pull her onto her knees. She cupped Rey’s cheek between her small wrinkled hands and scanned her face with her large eyes, magnified by thick glasses. Maz always had strange whims, but she looked at Rey like she knew everything about her.

“I’m so _proud_ of you,” she said, and paused. “I have something that might interest you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry its been a sec, hope u enjoyed :))


	6. yes i'm changing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> homecoming, but what has rey found out.?..

By Friday, Ben still hadn’t gotten round to asking a girl from his school to Homecoming. Instead, he’d begged his twenty-year-old roommate Phasma to accompany him so the football Captain didn’t look like a complete loser. Ben would never be able to ask who he’d really like to dance with, for fear of her saying no, and also since she happened to be cheer Captain of the White Tigers. He sighed, dreading the night about to ensue, as Phasma came down the stairs in a shiny silver blazer and a denim skirt. She had matching metallic boots, and her blonde spunky hair and piercings made her look really cool, too cool for a high school Homecoming. But Ben was grateful to her. He would not, however, put on the silver tie she had got him to try and match. That was too far. They arrived at the school and Phasma offered Ben a drink from her flask which he accepted with a swig. The two of them entered the gymnasium, which was bathed in twinkling white and pink light from a hanging disco ball. His date for the night immediately disappeared, in search of some punch to spike. Ben looked around at the dancing groups, cuddling couples and landed on Hux, looking sickly in the pale light, and guzzling something from a suspicious-looking bottle. Maybe the empty, dark halls would give Ben an opportunity to work on his plan to overthrow Snoke. It was something he’d been trying to come up with for a while, and so far had done very little- it had mostly involved some slight computer hacking, into the school CCTV footage, digging up some things that could eventually leave him as Captain _and_ coach of the First Order football team. His thoughts were halted when the gymnasium doors swung open and Rey rushed in. She was wearing a simple peach dress, that twinkled a little under the lights, and Ben noted in particular that she’d let down her hair, it was longer than he’d imagined, and she’d done something to it, straightened it or whatever girls did. But it was her face that concerned him. Rey looked upset, distraught, and he stepped towards her cautiously. She entered the hall and approached him, and he realised she was still wearing her gray Chuck Taylors. Ben allowed her to reach for his hand, and take it, leading him out through the doors. Rey steered him to her rust-coloured truck, her hand dwarfed in his, and they sat in the front close enough so that he could see the tears in her eyes highlighting golden specs that danced though her irises. It hurt him to see her cry, to see her breaking. She hadn’t said anything, but Ben knew it had to be important.

“What is it?” his voice was barely a whisper, a breath, velvety and low. Wordlessly, Rey brought out some papers from her glove compartment, hands shaking as she handed them to him. They were forms, and envelopes, addressed to her, her first name, just “Rey.”

“Maz does these for people she fosters, when they turn eighteen, if you request it.” Ben looked over the forms quickly, and under the title ‘birth certificate,’ there was a heading ‘parents,’ which showed only one statement: **Information unavailable**. He felt his eyes prick for her, the emptiness felt like a punch in the gut. Rey’s voice shuddered.

“I didn’t know who to talk to,” she looked at him. “I thought I would find answers here,” tears spilt onto her cheeks, black with makeup she had on for Homecoming. “But I’ve never felt so _alone_.”

“You’re not alone.” His hand shook as he reached out for her face, Ben’s own eyes overflowing. She let him cup her cheek and wipe the stains of her crying from under her eyes. Rey’s skin was warm and she lightly smiled up at him, blinking. She reached her own slender fingers up to his face, her thumb wiping away his tears which had fallen in a neat line towards his chin. Ben wasn’t sure what was going through Rey’s head in that moment, although he usually felt like he’d known her for years, and could hear her every thought. Was she closing the gap between them, was she leaning in?

* * *

Ben’s lips tasted sweet, if hesitant. Rey smelt the salt on his skin fresh from crying, moved her hand to touch his hair. She held back for the first few moments before she felt him build up courage, and slip his tongue between her lips, warm, wet. Rey had a feeling that somehow this was his first kiss, too. She had wanted the first person she kissed to be a person she loved, and driving straight to his school after receiving the news from Maz had suggested maybe exactly that. His large hand moved down to her neck, and Rey felt the other hovering by her waist. She wanted this moment to last, she wanted to treasure it, keep it, lock it away for just them. But then without warning, her truck rocked forward, knocking both of their bodies against the dash. It was with such force that someone must have slammed into the back of her car. Someone _had _slammed into the back of her car, and there was smoke rising from that someone’s bonnet.

“What the fuck?” Ben got out of Rey’s truck, their dream shattered. She looked behind to see none other than the White Tiger coach, Luke Skywalker, who had rear-ended her in his gray seven-seater. She watched as Ben realised who it was that had interrupted them, and he dashed back into the school. She debated running after him, but Luke had called her name, and she wasn’t going to let him go unchallenged.

“Did you do it?” Rey demanded at him, “did you create Kylo Ren?”

“He’s manipulating you, Rey- “

“You pushed him! It was _you_ who pushed him too far then gave up on him!”

“Whatever he’s told you, it’s not the full truth. He _did_ want Resistance to fail!”

“I can go to him. I can help him, be there for him, like you should have.”

“You’ll lose yourself to him, Rey, it’s dangerous.”

All she could do was glower at him, with a deathly stare, and return to her car.

“Good luck getting your bonnet fixed.” she replied, and drove off, leaving him standing there on the sidewalk, with a smoking engine as the rain began to fall.

* * *

Ben dropped his body down the stiff metal lockers of the hall while Homecoming lights still glinted through the gaps in the gymnasium doors. He watched as Phasma tumbled out of the girl’s bathroom in a haze of cigarette smoke, and spotting him, she slid onto the floor by his side. Instead of asking if there was clearly something wrong, she again offered his flask which he softly denied.

“We can go.” she said.

“Can I show you something?” Ben asked, reaching into his black blazer for his phone. A video popped up on the screen, that was black and white and faded, footage from a locker room.

“What are you going to do with this?” Phasma replayed the tape. He shrugged. “You could ruin him.” she held her ear to the phone to hear the audio.

“That’s the idea.”

Ben drove them home that night and felt a compelling urge to do something, to rebel, to claw back. He had put up with Snoke for too long, and seeing Rey that night made him realise that with her by his side, he could achieve so much. He wished he could tell her everything, but she was so hurt, so vulnerable, she looked as if she could have snapped in half. And they had kissed. His stomach churned. And Luke showed up. And Rey doubled in size, her expression was fierce and defensive, but he had run away. No longer. Ben Solo decided that night that no longer would he run away. He would be like Rey; he would fight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha.. um i'm emo, hope u enjoy, more updates soon ;))


	7. there is a light that never goes out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the night of the final approaches, but rey and ben face a lot of distractions

Rey performed the new and improved routine at the Saturday game and the Tuesday game, although Tuesday was better. Not only was it a stronger win for the White Tigers, it was against the stuck-up rich kids of Canto Bight, and it had been longer since Homecoming, meaning for once Rey could focus on things besides the kiss. Not telling her friends was killing her, but she couldn’t complicate things for the boys, so close to the final, and couldn’t tell Rose for fear of her spilling to Finn. So, her feelings, her confusion, frustration, compassion, longing, fear, were swirling around in her head, and her head alone. Well, there may have been one other person in the world who understood. _Ben._ And he had understood so completely. The kiss had helped Rey forget about other things, including her parents, but perhaps she was in denial. She thought all of these things while in the minibus back from the Griffins’ home ground after the victorious game that put Resistance in the final. Skywalker was driving, and she seethed at him.

“Rey…REY.” she snapped up to see Finn trying to get her attention.

“You coming?” Poe asked, as other footballers and cheerleaders turned round in their seats to peer at her.

“W-Where?”

“Ohmigod, you were really daydreaming!” they laughed.

“We’re getting pancakes.” Rey looked back at the kids smiling at her, it was after a strong win, a pancake house, a perfect evening plan. But it was the last thing she wanted to do. There was something about what she was feeling, that seemed too big for the minibus, it spilled out onto the highway and thundered down the road like a raging tsunami.

“Ah, no thanks,” was all she could muster, “I think I might check on Ms. Organa at her house, is that ok coach?” And the other kids turned back to their conversations.

Coach Holdo, sitting shotgun, made eye contact with her in the rear-view mirror and smiled, and while the other kids piled off to get waffles and pancakes, Rey headed in the direction of the Organa-Solo’s house. But, when she got there, she was pretty much barred from entry by Han, who explained that Leia was “fast asleep,” and “needed her rest,” before practically slamming the door in Rey’s face, not rudely, but a little cold. There was nothing she wanted more than to see Leia, to talk to her, to _anyone_, about the entire situation. That was when Han’s business partner, Chewbacca, opened the door and crouched awkwardly on the porch next to Rey. He didn’t talk much, but he was a good listener, and seemed to understand everything, the teams, Ben, Snoke, Luke, even the kiss, it all came out, and the big beardy man just nodded and smiled with kind eyes. They were eyes Rey realised, that must have seen Ben as a boy, young and carefree, before football, before Snoke even, had a chance to ruin everything. Chewy dropped Rey back at Maz’s, and after closing the door to his chunky silver truck, Rey knew what she had to do, and that it would take honesty, courage, and a little dash of utter stupidity.

* * *

Ben’s emotions churned as he jogged from width to width with his team, eagle-eyes on coach Snoke, who was pacing the side-lines back and forth as they warmed-up. He wasn’t prepared for what he was about to do, but only had one shot at it. Snoke screeched his whistle on the warm-up for the final, and pointed to a couple of team members while the rest of them circled on the pitch, nervous for the game. They seemed to look to Ben for a motivational talk, but he was far too distracted, and distantly heard Hux instead, addressing the players. Ben was about to interrupt the idiotic fool when the White Tigers’ bus pulled in and the Resistance team began spilling out. The Panthers turned to see their rival team, that they would be facing yet again, but this time for the title, for the victory. Ben could almost sense the sneers, the growls coming from his team, so put his hands on the two Tackles’ shoulders to calm them. Some members turned back into the circle, focussed, but Ben caught sight of someone, dressed in a white uniform, gray-haired and with a stick but looking ferociously across the pitch towards him. The tips of her mouth drew up into a wry smile. His mother. Back, he assumed, from her recovery time off and replacing Holdo, her old school friend, who had been covering. Rey would be pleased. _Rey._ She bounded off the bus next to the Tiger’s Captain, Dameron, and had her hair loose again, with a simple blue bow like the other cheerleaders. Ben watched her hang back with his mother, who squeezed her hand and walked with her into the away-team girl’s locker room. They looked content together, comfortable, and he wondered how much Rey had told her. He was clearly staring for too long, as most of his team were now milling around the bench and heading towards their own locker room for a break. Ben stood in the centre of the pitch while the floodlights beat down, and spun to the opposite direction in search of the girl.

* * *

Rey’s team seemed to be filled with a new sparkle of energy, a new boost, from Leia being back. They seemed to glimmer and laugh, refreshed as they all got into their cheer uniforms. Rey was the first ready so the girl’s piled her up with their water bottles to refill and she took a handful out into the hall in search for a fountain. The First Order High corridors were dark and the lockers were angry black and red, it seemed to perfectly fit with their intensity, the Panthers, were somehow darker, more sinister, the school itself gloomier. She heard footsteps as she began filling up the bottles from the tap, the steps seemed to echo until she couldn’t tell which direction they were coming from. Rey peered down the empty corridor, as shadows streamed from behind the floodlit pitch. There was another set of footsteps, heavier, more panicked, and Rey quickly gathered her things to retreat to the safety of the girls’ room, when a firm pair of hands grabbed her arm and pulled her inside a chem lab room, the other hand cupping her mouth preventing her from screaming. It sent the bottles flying, but Rey didn’t feel fear, she knew who was holding her, she only worried why Ben Solo seemed so unnerved.

“SSSShhhhhshhhh!” he hushed her with panic as he carefully took his hand from her mouth. Ben was peering out of the small rectangular lab window, eyes wide.

“What are you doing?”

“Look.” He pointed out of the gridded window into the hallway as a tall figure slunk past, his fingers curled around the hook of a hockey stick.

“Is that?”

“Snoke. He wants to cause trouble. And make it look like an accident.”

“You can’t be serious.”

“He’s done it before. But this time, I’m gonna prove its him.”

Rey looked at the back of Ben’s head as he peered into the dark corridor. She knew that Ben truly, finally, wanted to do the right thing. The pride she felt for him burst out of her chest and she smiled, although part of her was terrified as to what _she_ was about to do. As he was still engrossed in watching Snoke creep away, Rey silently stepped towards the door, stared at the handle, took a gulp, and surged out into the hallway. Not a sound. The slow balance of steps stopped suddenly. She focussed on Snoke as he turned to face her. The hockey stick seemed a lot longer, sharper and generally scarier than before.

* * *

Ben felt the blood drain from his face. There was Rey, standing in front of Snoke, and he was rooted to his spot in the classroom, peering through the window like a coward. Or maybe just a person with sense. She had no idea how much danger she was in. He ducked below the wall and crawled to the door, all the while keeping eyes on Snoke, who to his surprise dropped the hockey stick with a loud clunk. Ben made sure his phone was still receiving all the security footage, he needed all the help he could get. Rey spoke out, confident, loud, but foolish. Why hadn’t he stopped her?

“You underestimate the Tigers.” She was provoking him. “And Ben Solo. And me.”

Ben couldn’t bare the fact that Snoke was now steadily approaching Rey and twisting his features into a contorted smile, still saying nothing. He hurriedly searched the classroom for some kind of weapon, and his eyes landed on a glinting beaker of hydrochloric acid, staring straight back at him. Grabbing the beaker, Ben hung back, weighing up his options. Suddenly, he heard Snoke’s voice ringing out, burning through the silence, so he ducked back below a desk.

“Such _spunk. _Why add to the embarrassment of your team? Accept your failure.” Ben tensed at the words, his hand gripping the door handle, ready to strike. Through the classroom window he saw Rey take a sudden dive. Was she hurt? No, she stood back up, brandishing the hockey stick high above her head. No! What was she thinking? She could never fight Snoke. The coach now had his back to the window Ben was peering through, they were circling each other. He heard Snoke’s rasping laugh erupt from him.

“Still, that fiery spit of hope. You have the spirit of a Panther.” He was mocking her. Ben felt lava bubbling up inside him, he seethed, controlling his breathing. He heard a slam. Rey had tried to swing at Snoke, but had struck the lockers on the wall, or he had dodged. Either way the fury built up inside him, becoming harder to bottle in. The next few seconds happened far too quickly. They became meshed and blurred into a nightmare, a waking dream. Snoke reached his gnarled hand out for Rey, gripped her under her chin. Something ripped within Ben, like the twang of an elastic snapping. He saw red, he felt blood in his ears, he watched as his hands tore open the door, and seized Snoke by his jacket, pulling him to the floor. Ben watched his body as if from above, hovering, staring down at the writhing shape of Snoke under the burning acid, twisting, distorting, the chill of his voice. He felt arms around him pulling him away, he saw the coach dragging himself down the corridor, and fought back every urge not to finish it, to snuff out the last light. But he breathed, and he crouched, shaking, while Rey held him, looking him in the eyes, telling him it’s alright. Ben watched through blurred vision her mopping up the floor with toilet tissues and binding his hands from blisters. He felt her cool touch as she pressed her forehead to his, and listened to her soothing voice, repeating, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, Ben, I’m sorry…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a cliffhanger? me? never ;))


	8. jamais vu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sharing a story of pain is often the most painful thing to do, but ben knows what he has to pull off

This was all my fault, Rey thought to herself as she interlocked her fingers with Ben’s while he stared blankly at the spot where Snoke had once been. His shaking had slowed and the colour began to return to his face. Resonating through the school, they heard the overhead speaker making an announcement; “Thirty minutes until kick-off the stands are now open.” The two of them, crouched in the corner of the corridor, felt a sudden murmur as they noticed people filling into the bleachers, and wandering in from the parking lot. It had been such a daze, such a rush. What do we do now? Do we call an ambulance? Rey racked her brain, but then Ben stood up.

“There’s one more thing I have to do…”

“Wait, wait, Ben, what about- “

“Leave him. I need to get this out.” Ben was looking down at his phone and walking away leaving Rey alone in the hall.

“What the hell happened?” It was Connix, retrieving the scattered water bottles from the floor and approaching Rey, who looked stunned. “Rey?”

“Mmm. I’m coming.” And they jogged onto the field where the rest of the girls were stretching and Leia was looking over them. Rey noticed relief flood onto Ms. Organa’s face when she saw her, but she grabbed Rey’s wrist as she walked by.

“_What_ is he up to?” Leia asked, motioning towards the scaffold tower that held the big screen. Rey followed her gaze and her mouth dropped open. It was Ben, climbing, hauling himself up onto the platform that held the box of electronics wiring the screen.

“Oh my god.” She darted, pushing past the crowds that were now forming preparing for the game, ignoring Leia calling after her. She dipped into the corridors, only for them to be more full of students, so she rushed out onto the pitch, sprinting in the direction of the big screen. What was he doing? Ruining his chances for a scholarship, getting kicked out of school, getting himself killed. But the screen suddenly zipped black, and Rey stunted where she was. Only the hum of the crowd could be heard as musicians ceased their tuning and everyone turned to the screen, that used to be showing a reel of highlights from the season, but was now dead. Slowly, a blanket of silence flooded the stands, as the screen flicked onto a blurry black and white image, what looked like CCTV footage, of the boys’ locker room. There was a number of gasps and whispers as people peered on, intrigued, shocked.

“_Watch yourself man,”_ Rey heard Ben’s voice from the video, and it sounded wavering, fearful. She turned to see Leia look on with bright eyes, as Ben broadcast the footage from his mobile. Rey turned back, eyes pricking.

_“You watch yourself,_” on the big screen, Snoke clearly came into frame and Rey sharply inhaled, realising what Ben was planning. She gasped with the rest of the audience as they watched the coach pin Ben to the lockers and shove him to the floor, violent, dominant. Her tears spilled down her face as Snoke’s voice in the recording laughed.

“_It’s just a joke, just jokes…you know I’m always joking. Now get onto that field…fucker.”_ The stadium erupted into gossiping conversation. But he wasn’t done. The footage continued, for that wasn’t the only evidence of abuse Ben had been through. Rey’s heart broke as she watched clips of Snoke slapping, shouting, dragging, hissing, holding Ben in a headlock, tripping him, knocking him down, laughing, mocking, it was painful to see. The murmurs in the stands became panicked shouts, cries, she looked up to see her own face now on the big screen, felt the hundreds of eyes on her as she stood on the field. It was the clip of Snoke cornering her, intimidating her, grabbing at her neck, from minutes ago. And it cut off right before, before- Ben appeared, for all to see, standing in front of the big screen as people cheered, in their support, their solidarity. Rey’s tears of agony for him bled into tears of joy for him, and she resisted every urge not to run to him, climb up there and stand with him, taller, stronger, now the world knew who he really was- a survivor.

* * *

Ben couldn’t believe his eyes as the people in the stands stood and cheered for him. The screen behind him turned back to the original picture as security and teachers began circling below for him to get to safety. But he felt victorious. Ecstatic. And just as the cheers were dying down and he was ducking back to the pitch, a cry was heard from deep within the corridors. The voice, the scream, was from a man, if you can call him that, who was clutching his face, desperately yelling for someone to call an ambulance, he needed help, he was burning. But everyone stood in shocked silence staring at him.

“What are you fucking doing? I’m dying!” The man stumbled and collapsed in a heap, but no one helped him up, as this man had just been outed in front of the entire school as an abuser. As a violent, aggressive, toxic, manipulator. The school cops approached Snoke, yanked him by his elbows and frog-marched him off the school grounds, the crowds exploding into cheers again, and leaving Ben to drop to his knees. He was finally free. His abuser was gone. He searched the grounds for his mother, expecting to see her face also excited, proud, delighted. But instead Leia looked back at Ben with an expression he could only describe one way- broken. His mother looked broken. But this time, he realised, it wasn’t his fault. It was never really his fault and she was finally realising that. Then he caught Rey’s eye, her face was tear-streaked and she began walking across the grass towards him, and he stood up to go to her. This girl, who he met by complete chance, from a different team, a different universe almost, who had given him the strength to do what he had always wanted. He had overthrown Snoke. Now he knew he was the Captain and coach that would bring the Panthers to victory, and he had Rey to celebrate with. But before they got even halfway close, his teammates swarmed him, four of them lifting him high off the ground. Ben noticed, only Hux stayed on the side-lines, his beady eyes squirming between him and Rey. The Panthers chanted his name, and he fully indulged himself in the success, the leadership, the power he had gained.

“KYLO, KYLO, KYLO!” filled his ears as the team circled around each other, stronger than ever, and ready to win the match and take the title, for the Panthers and Panthers only.

* * *

A couple of staring students skirted their way out of the bathroom as Rey stalked into a cubicle, trying and failing to hide her misery. It was going perfectly, for one crisp, clear moment she honestly believed Ben had chosen to overthrow Snoke for good, because it was the right thing to do, because he loved her, maybe. But- it seemed to be all for the game. All for football, to be the strongest, the leader, to win. The way his team had shouldered him, Rey could feel Ben slipping away, curling back up into the old Kylo Ren, she watched his team, in their black and red uniform, carry him away from her. Rey’s black eye makeup was smudged and her pink lips were dry, she looked a mess and felt a mess and just needed someone. Which was when the door swung open and she peered out of the cubicle to see Rose, in her sweet band uniform.

“Rey?” Rose’s voice was like a pillow, warm and comforting. Rey slipped out of the cubicle and watched Rose’s face crumple.

“Was it the video? I know it was a lot. But its ok! They caught the guy. Rey…” Rose reached for some tissue to dab at her friend’s swollen cheeks.

“It’s- it’s not just that.” Rey’s voice was shaky and uneven. “I- I think I love someone, who doesn’t love me back.” Rose seemed a little surprised at this confession, but swooped in for a hug anyway, not prying, not asking too much, just being a friend. Rey needed a friend. They heard the speaker announcing the few minutes left before the game.

“Are you ok to perform? Do you want me to call someone?” she shook her head no. After tidying herself up, and another reassuring squeeze from Rose, the girls left the bathroom, hand in hand. On the way out to the field, they bumped into Finn, who seemed buzzed.

“You see that guy?” He pointed into the crowd. “That’s DJ.”

“The scout? He came!” Rose replied, excited for her boyfriend.

“I know!” Finn responded, gripping her. Then he turned to Rey. “You got this, Rey. Go out there and kill it for us.” He slung his arm round her shoulder.

“You too, Finn. I know you’ll do great.” She unhooked his arm and jogged out into her starting position with the rest of the cheer team. As the routine began, Rey looked up to where Finn had pointed out DJ, who was curiously sitting with the Panthers, specifically next to Ben’s punky lesbian friend. Phasma? Something didn’t feel right. Yet, Rey had no other option but to focus on the music and the moves, and deliver the best routine she could.

* * *

What a routine. Rey was phenomenal. She flipped through the air and landed without a wobble, before going straight into lifting another teammate high into the sky. She was a bird, a phoenix, all fire and fight, and Kylo felt euphoria in watching her. He knew she would be feeling proud of her team, and was about to watch him win, too. Yet, there was a deep-seated discomfort in him as the Tiger cheerleaders finished, receiving rallies from their side, and Kylo neatly clapped them, but wanted nothing more than to stand tall, proud, hollering for her and her team. But he still felt like he couldn’t. No more Snoke to be afraid of. What was he afraid of. Losing? Letting down the team? He hoped Rey would understand, feel the same way, after tonight, Kylo wanted to be done with football. The stupid, pointless rivalries, opposing teams, tense friendships, team before blood, all of it. The Tigers, the Panthers, scholarships, all of it so fruitless. The First Order girls now began their routine, but Kylo was preoccupied while other players whooped and shouted. Eventually, the players got into their starting positions, and Ben saw Dameron, looked him in the eye. He gave him a Kylo Ren look, intimidating, dominant, fierce, a Panther. They won the coin toss, naturally, and began the kick-off. This wasn’t just going to be a victory, it would be a hammering, because in that moment, it was all Kylo had been made to do. To strike down the opposing team, to rip through them with force and agility, skill and power. The whistle pierced a tense silence; the first half had begun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry its been a sec, thanks for reading reylos :) more soon!


	9. MOVE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a finale?? a conclusion? the football pitch isn't the ideal place to confess an entanglement of emotion

Instead of following the precise line of girls back into the locker room during half time, Rey darted in the direction of the Panther boy’s side of the pitch. The White Tiger’s had a dulled energy, they were losing, fairly badly, and Rey hated the strained attempt of the coaches to keep morale high for the players. All the cheerleaders could do is sit back and watch. Although, she reminded herself, both Poe and Finn had been playing extremely well. But Ben was flawless, unbeatable, raw strength and untamed power. He would boulder through lines, seemed to shake the earth, intimidating, huge and determined. That was exactly how Rey was feeling when she burst into the boys’ locker room in search of him.

“Yo, what the fuck?”

“Hey, hey you can’t be in here!” Jeers of protest from the First Order players who were plastered around the room, refreshing and recharging.

“Woah, woah, Rey what are you doing?” Ben pulled her to the side, his team eyeing him. Rey spotted one ginger guy in particular mocking him, and noticed Ben clench his jaw to stop himself unleashing some kind of fury. Instead, he led her to the hallway and Rey sensed a new energy to him, he was cocky, and alpha male, flexing his power in front of his team, and it made her seethe. She grounded herself. She only had a few moments before the last 24 minutes of the season would be played out, the Panthers would win, and she may never see him again. Words just spilled out from her, uncontrollably.

“Ben, Snokes gone. You know that, right? And, yes, you want to win but you don’t have to fight anymore. I know why you really did this, I know you still care about your parents, Ben, I sense that in you- “

“Rey,” he interrupted, blinking down at her, “I wanted to get rid of Snoke. I did, and I did it because it’s time to let old things die. Snoke, Skywalker, the Panthers, the Tigers, all of it. After tonight, it will all be over.” he paused.

“And Rey, I’m _crazy _about you, and I want you by my side.” He gripped onto her hand, interlacing their fingers. For a moment she was speechless.

“So, you’ll come home?” she managed to squeak out, a tide tugging at her throat.

“You’re not listening, don’t you understand?” he let go of her hand, his face twisted with emotion, with frustration and with denial. He continued, “you’re still holding on. Let go!”

His voice was raised now, shocking her so that tears brimmed around her eyes. Rey wanted to run and wished she’d never met him, but they were so close, and she needed him. His voice was softer now.

“You know the truth about your parents. You trusted me with that. Trust me again now. Please.” And she did, although it stung, although she tried to fight it, she had trusted him and still did, even now. The tears blurring her vision spilled down her face.

“You come from nothing, you’re nothing.” Ben held his arms open to her.

“But not to me.”

In that moment, Rey realised that Ben was the reason she was coming to terms with who she was. It was because of him. They had both been going through isolation for so long, such intense loneliness, that they had reached out and found each other. Like a diamond in the rough, no other chance in a million years but the universe had put them on this football field together. So, Rey collapsed into him, burrowing into his shoulder, sobbing, feeling his heaving breaths, his warm touch. He engulfed her in strong arms and she felt safe.

* * *

Ben had not expected to feel the way he did for this girl. Who felt so delicate against his chest, but was the exact opposite of that. Who had been through so much, been left with so little to hold onto, about her past and her parents. They were two halves of a whole and it felt so right to be holding her. The intensity of his affections knocked him in the stomach, like he was winded, blinded and deafened by the blow. It was a sharp, swift slash, and he recognised it as something he hadn’t felt before, but knew it was right. _Love_. He loved Rey, simply, and could not explain how or why. He felt her shift and untangle herself from him, her gaze now looking past him, distantly, to the other side of the pitch. She was looking at her teammates who were gathering on their side of the field, she was going to leave him.

“Rey, don’t go.” She stepped back.

“Let’s bail. Let’s leave the game.” Ben didn’t mind that his voice was begging.

“I- I’m sorry, I have to.” And with that, Rey slipped past him and he was left staring at her blue bow bouncing away as she jogged to her team. He had let her go, let her leave him, he couldn’t force her to stay although he wanted to. He had asked her to leave this whole thing behind, but she couldn’t do it. Rey had picked sides, she had picked her side. And it wasn’t with him. At his lowest points, Ben often felt like a dark shadow hovered over him, like he had another self, an internal creature, something unnatural that snuck out between the cracks of Ben Solo, and built up Kylo Ren. It was planted there by his father, nurtured by Luke and moulded by Snoke. He was a disgusting mesh of the men he hated most, and it made him despise himself, and he only forgot about it when Rey was there. Ben knew he couldn’t just rely on her, she had her friends to run to, and he had no one. Ben Solo had to fix himself. As he trudged back for the second half of the game, he noticed Hux slithering behind him, and realised to his dismay that the snivelling Half Back had snooped and witnessed the entire exchange between him and Rey. Hux didn’t say anything but his slimy features knotted into a cruel smile. Ben rushed to the pitch.

“Let’s finish this,” he said to his teammate.

“Finish this? After all that?” Hux taunted, “do you know who you’re talking to? We both know that out of the two of us, I am the true Panther here.” Ben stopped in his tracks.

“You presume to take over a team that I care far more about, evidently.” Hux continued.

“As I’ve just seen, you would lose it all for a _girl_.”

At that, Ben balled his hand into a fist and began to charge towards the Half Back, feeling nothing but the deep hatred he had always felt, for him, for himself, which was all channelled into that screwed fist. But he stopped himself, watching the boy in front of him barely flinch.

“Careful, now,” he snarled, “we don’t want another abuser on our team. Its already weak enough with one victim.”

“Snoke. Is. Gone.” Ben spat out, and turned on his heel.

“Asshole.” he muttered to himself. He was now ready finish the win; no longer for the coach position, not for Snoke, not even for the team, but for himself.

* * *

Poe tidied his lounge as he invited guests in, picking up trash and scooting his dog, BB-8, out of the way to introduce everybody to his home. No one really knew what his parents did, but they were away at work a lot, meaning a lot of mess, but a free house for a final after-party. It may not have been a victorious game, but Rey appreciated the fact that the White Tigers, especially their Captain Poe Dameron, only needed the smallest excuse to throw a party. She watched Rose grab a drink for herself and Finn, who was feeling a little more bummed about the loss as it meant the scout had fallen through. The group all chatted amongst themselves for a while, and Rey began to forget somewhat about the defining part of her evening- Ben Solo. Why always, when she was the most mad at him, did he always do something to make her feel like she could trust him. Her feelings were the most contradictory, and just as she was reflecting on this, a Joan Jet song blared out of the speakers. It seemed to direct each and every note straight at her.

“I hate myself for loving you.”

“What?” Poe raised his voice above the song.

“No- I, uh, it’s the name of the song!” Rey replied. It was also exactly how she was feeling.

“I love this song!” Poe was tipsy already by the looks of it, and got up on the coffee table to dance, the other football players and cheerleaders whooping at his moves. The Captain tugged a glum Finn up onto the table and the two of them bopped while Rey and Rose looked on, laughing. Her friends had no idea what was going on in her head, but managed to make it feel better. They partied the house down until Rey found herself sitting in an empty bathtub with an overly cheerful dog while Poe, now shirtless, heaved into the toilet bowl. Rose came rushing back and forth with rags, cups of water, and Rey felt a sense of completion. If this was how her time with Ben, and with football was going to end, in the tub at her good friend’s house on a Saturday night- then she was content. That feeling fizzled away when Leia peered her head around the bathroom door and motioned for Rey to go with her. Clearly, this_ wasn’t_ the end of Rey’s time with the Organa-Solos.

* * *

Instead of going out to celebrate with his now-champion teammates, Ben found himself in Phasma’s car, being driven far, far away from the futile, the competitive, the mess that was high school football. For good. He would find another path in life. But everywhere his mind wandered it always circled back to one thing. The sport had been pumped into his mindset, it was in his veins, part of his personality. One toxic droplet of ink that spoiled a crystal clear ocean.

“Drop me here please.”

“Here? We’re in the middle of nowhere.”

“Let me out, Phasma.”

“Kylo…”

“It’s Ben, and let me out.”

And so there Ben stood on the cold sidewalk as the red lights at the back of the car squinted away into the distance. He just needed to be alone in his head, away from any rigidity, nothing to confine him, nothing to find. He looked down the street at each pool of light that the was cast down the residential road. He started walking, in the direction of a wide expanse of land at the junction at the end of the road. He knew it roughly, not well enough to find his way home, wherever that meant. The wide expanse he thought was a park field was actually a golf course, but Ben didn’t care. He yanked himself over the metal ringed fence that was rusted and fringed at the edges, and he ran. Just let loose. As if he wasn’t tired and sweaty enough already, straight from the game. He ran on the green, bounced through the sand pits, in and out of the trees, through thickets and bushes. He saw a light flick on in a nearby house and dropped to the floor, crawling, rolling, scraping his body on the grass. Ben thought he must have looked like an insane person, but felt more sane than he had ever felt. He had told the truth about everything, was an open book. About Rey, about Snoke. And he was drunk on it- drunk on the feeling of freedom. Ben tried to stifle his laughter as he ducked away from the people that had now come out into their yard across from the golf course, and were peering into the black. His laughter quickly ceased when he realised the guy had a shotgun, and a large drooling dog that was straining on a leash. Ben tumbled back into the bushes and backed away from the course into the forest, before stumbling back onto a street again. A street he painfully remembered, of course he did. He grew up there.

* * *

“I know, I know, maybe I should never have gotten involved!” Rey’s voice was defensive as she had just been sat down at Leia’s house and hounded by Luke. Of course, he had told his sister everything, and they were intervening, tonight of all nights.

“No, no Rey, my dear, you didn’t hurt in trying.” Leia comforted her student.

“It did hurt though, didn’t it. I told you to stay away from the boy.” Mr. Skywalker, who was standing in exasperation, now caved into a chair. Rey had noticed that Han Solo wasn’t home, which she was partly grateful for, after he had turned her away from visiting Leia she didn’t want to complicate things, which he definitely would. Ms. Organa put her head in her hands, and Rey could feel the pain resonating from her as she sat next to her.

“After everything he went through… I need to accept that my son is gone.”

“No one’s ever really gone.” Luke came to crouch next to his sister, planting a kiss on her head. They all blamed themselves, and Rey’s explanation to them had only solidified that. The three of them held each other and sat quietly, while the small yellow cat, 3PO, wound itself around their feet, and the sound of a mother mourning for her son was the only thing that filled the room. All of a sudden, a loud crash in the front yard distracted the group from their embrace. They each looked at each other in astonishment as they heard a heavy-handed knock on the front door. Luke, protectively, stood at rounded the corner to answer it and Rey peered into Leia’s watery eyes. Her look was piercing, as if she was preparing for another painful blow. Rey listened to the door opening with a creek, but did not hear any greeting, so she moved to peak around the corner, just out of sight. Luke stood in the shadow of a hulk of darkness, a boy whose hair was dishevelled, had cuts on his face and bruised arms, and was glaring down on his old coach. It was Ben. At the door of his childhood home. Facing Luke. Rey inhaled sharply but motioned for Leia to remain seated. The look on Ben’s face scared her, it was unlike anything she’d seen before. Hatred spread across his features; anger, hatred and betrayal.

“I failed you, Ben.” Luke stated, simply. Rey couldn’t see Skywalker’s expression, but she knew it would be stern and unforgiving. He continued. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m sure you _are_.” Ben spat out the words, leaning forward as he spoke at keeping his gaze directly on Luke. “Resistance High has lost. The game is over. It’s gone. And you need to go with it. What you’ve done- you’re no better than Snoke.”

“Amazing. Every word that you just said, was wrong. A new team is born today. The game is only just beginning. And we will win, you know that. And you know _she_ knows that.”

She? Rey knelt, hidden from view, staring back into Leia’s wide eyes. Were they talking about Ben’s mother or- _Are they talking about me? _Rey mouthed the words across the room to her coach. Leia returned with a sad smile.

“It will destroy her. _I_ will destroy her. And I need to stay away from her, and you, and all of it.”

“No.” Luke responded, calmly, while Ben continued to quake with rage. “Ben, if you run now, I will always be with you, following you. Just like your father.”

There was an ear-splitting silence, before a scream erupted from Ben, it made Rey flinch back, clench her ears.

“NO!” There was a thud, dull, defiant. She looked up expecting to see Luke on the floor, taken out by a deathly blow but instead saw him standing tall, next the open door which now had a hole punched clean through it. Beyond the porch, Rey saw Ben Solo clinging to his fist in agony, red in the face and wet with tears. She stood, only to see him limping away into the darkness.

“See you around, kid.” She heard Luke mutter.

* * *

The pain seared through his fingers and his wrist was already swelling. Angry red blotches began to appear on Ben’s knuckles and his vision blurred with the pulsing he felt in his brain. There was nothing he could do except run. Luke had cornered him, beyond hope. Pathetically, Ben staggered in the direction of Phasma’s apartment, knowing it would take him over an hour to walk there in such pain, and putting one foot in front of the other, Ben let his tears drip onto the black sidewalk. His football boots disgusted him, and he pulled them off tying them together with their laces, and sending them in a neat toss down the middle of the road. Why not; if he was running away, fuck it, he’d fucking do it bare foot. Besides, he enjoyed the discomfort of grazing concrete on the sole of his feet. In the quiet, Ben heard the rolling sound of a distant vehicle, and considered sticking his sore thumb out for a hitchhike before recognising the thumping engine of Rey’s battered truck. Of course, she _happened_ to be a Leia’s, and witnessed the entire exchange, probably. Ben considered diving into a nearby bramble to avoid her, before questioning to himself why on earth she would be driving after him if she hated him as much as he assumed. Instead, he slowed and turned to the truck and looked at her sitting in the driver’s seat. Inside his head, Ben was screaming _please, please, please._ Where before it had been _please_ _please love me back_, now it was simply _please please don’t hate me._ Yet, he concluded that Rey must be incapable of hate as she stopped her truck and silently opened the passenger door for him. Ben clambered inside, like a scolded puppy with his tail between his legs.

* * *

The drive was wordless, for there was nothing Rey could form with her mouth that even began to express the twisting lines of feelings in her head. Her tongue was split in two- wanting to call him every name under the sun for being so stubborn, so intractable, and wanting to comfort him with words that wound him up in a tight ball, saying it will all be ok. But, seeing Ben, covered in dirt, wild, messy, stained with tears, with sweat and with mud, Rey knew her time to try and help him was over. There was no more she could say or do, this was down to Ben only. She had to shut him out, and let him fix himself, even if it hurt both of them for a while. Besides, he had indirectly shown her a family in the Organa-Solos, that Rey was always told she could never have. Luckily, she knew the way to roughly the Panthers’ side of town, with Ben gently directing her. When she stopped the truck outside Phasma’s apartment, Rey kept her eyes ahead but felt him turn to face her.

“Rey, I- “he paused. “Thankyou.” he gathered himself and exited the car, for some reason his departure felt final and Rey found herself blinking back tears. Ben slammed the door but remained staring at her from the curb. He spoke again. But Rey could not look at him, only on the road ahead as she pulled away, his words ringing in her ears. He had sounded muffled, through the glass of the car window, but still five distinct syllables were made out. They rounded themselves and Rey’s eyes overflowed as she let lines of tears run down her cheeks. Those five simple words. She denied herself from listening to what he had said, for it cannot possibly have been what she thought she heard. Ben Solo, standing there, barefoot, like an idiot, gazing at her through her truck’s cloudy window, and stating, as if the most obvious fact:

_I’m in love with you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a BIG BOY chapter   
i think i'm going to leave this story for a while.. allow it to.. rest a little   
i feel like i take a lot of inspiration from the canon so after ep 9 lets see what happens, thanks for the support, thanks for reading!


	10. love me or leave me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the holidays pass and rey and her friends have different feelings about senior year. she finds a shocking newspaper cutting.

The months of the holiday season passed with a strange feeling in the back of Rey’s mind. As much as Maz tried to make Thanksgiving and Christmas somewhat homely and cosy, home cooked food and festive movies, something was off. Even when Poe and the others dragged her out to watch the fireworks for New Year, Rey hid behing her smile. Her friends were the definition of joy; dispite another, final defeat to end the football season, they retained a glowing energy and rosey positivity. “The final half of senior year…its gonna be great guys!” Finn was buzzing. They were hanging at Rose’s on New Years’ Morning, trying to hide their hangovers from her family. “Can you keep your voice down, please?” Poe held a coffee mug in one hand, passing a polaroid picture to Rose, who was scrapbooking in her pajamas; she always kept snippets from local magazines about her brass band, adding photos from parties, homecoming, the holidays. She rifled through newspaper clippings and sticky origami paper on the table. “Wait.” Rey spotted something in one of the papers. “How old is this paper?” she gripped it, scanning the article that caught her attention. “Uh, couple of weeks, I think?” the other girl replied, distracted by washi tape. “Guys, I have to go.” Rey crumpled the page into her pocket and thanked Rose’s family, quickly leaving in her truck before her friends could protest. The words were ingrained in her brain. “Infamous ex-Highschool football coach, Sheev Palpatine, released from prison.” She knew that name, and as much as she had tried to distance herself from football and the Panthers and- Ben Solo- Rey couldn’t hold it in. Years ago, Palpatine had been the Panthers’ coach; he’d coached Ben’s grandfather, she remembered it so clearly. Everyone had assumed he’d died of old age in prison, sent there for years for so many charges; illegal doping, drugging the team without their consent, abuse, and many other rumoured crimes. It was why First Order High had changed their name, so they weren’t associated with him. What was the school called before his conviction? What was it? Rey racked her brains as she was driving, to God knows where.

Sith Central School. Ben remembered the name, of course he did. He often liked to think about his grandfather walking the same halls of what was now First Order High, but under a different name. He felt a connection imagining that historical part of him playing on the same field, in the same locker room, canteen. But Palpatine. The news had shaken him, not in a good way. He _had_ to find a way to talk to Palpatine, get answers from him, take him down like he had taken down Snoke. Since his release had been made public, rumours had circled among the Panthers, about his whereabouts, his life, his crimes. He was infamous, sure he did a lot of bad things, but Ben sensed the Panthers still had a great respect for who they considered the ‘father,’ of football at their school. The first victories where thanks to him. Therefore, Ben thought, Palpatine could not have any interference, and power over the school and its players. His first day after the holidays had begun, and Ben already felt various heads turning and eyes on him. Still he had more to focus on; the freshmen try-outs, college applications and that glitch in the back of his head…the girl. Still, the first day was mostly dull, and Ben found himself alone yet again in the apartment. Phasma was still away travelling with her girlfriend, leading to a lonely, drunken Thanksgiving and Christmas, and a very lonely, _very_ drunken New Year. He’d only just recovered from it. There was a sudden rustle of paper and heavy footsteps down the apartment complex corridor. Ben’s ears pricked. Under his door was a folded paper note, and he swung his door open to reveal no one standing there. Fucking stupid, hate mail or death threats, or-

“wAyFiNdEr. bAr. 8tH aVE. MidNiGht – sHeEv”

Are you kidding? This dude had been out of prison for two weeks and was already sending dodgy notes under people’s doors? He must be, what, 90? Sheev Palpatine. The name matched the articles Ben had seen online. But it could be a trick, and there was a code, a set of numbers and letters, some kind of password? What the hell.

**3X3G01**

Ben looked around the empty apartment, he looked at the dishes piling up in the sink, the bare fridge, the single bed, unmade. He looked at the football on his shelf from the winning final… he thought about that night. He looked at the clock, time had been slipping, almost 11pm. He hurried to lace up his boots, tumbling into his car and speeding towards 8th Avenue.

The bar was out of town- dingy, but otherwise fairly normal looking from the outside, a red neon light holding the sign, ‘The Way Finder,’ flickering. It was about ten minutes before midnight, and Ben walked in, ordered a beer from the girl behind the bar who eyed him a little suspiciously but served him anyway. Everyone in the bar looked old, heads down, tired in hats or hoodies, grizzly and grumbling. Sitting alone or in small groups. Ben seemed to fit into the generally dark and miserable vibe, but was by far the youngest, glancing round and trying not to draw too much attention to himself. The minutes to midnight counted down, and he hunched over his drink, tense, any second expecting to get jumped or yelled at or picked up and thrown out. Ben hadn’t felt fear in a really long time, not for himself anyway, he barely remembered how it felt. This was a stupid mistake, a hoax, a dumb trick, he thought. He was about to leave, tossing change at the bar, retreating out of doubt or fright or a mixture of both, when he saw a both at the very back of the room slide, angle very slightly, to become a turnstile, a number of dark bodies slipping through before it closed again, as if it were never there. Of course! He sprang up. An old speak-easy, or a criminal den, a hideout, the perfect place for Palpatine to be curled away, protected but still in control. A large bouncer dressed all in black stood against the hidden door, a cap brought so far down it hid his entire face. Ben tried to sound intimidating, nearly as tall as the bouncer but no where near as broad.

“Move.”

“Password.”

Fuck. Ben’s mind went for the only thing he knew. Violence. He made an aggressive grab at the handle, only to be shoved to the ground by another guy who now also stood blocking the door.

“No password, get out.” It was exactly midnight.

“You don’t understand. I need to see-“ he reached into his pocket for the note, suddenly realising. Dumbass, he thought, I can’t think straight when I see red.

“3-X-3-G-0-1.”

The door swung open.

The hallway was dark, blue neon lights flickered like lightning. There was a dusty, broken elevator with only one option- down. Ben followed and the doors opened into a basement room lit by a single hanging bulb. Men in hoodies stood around, turning as Ben stepped forward. There was no way out. The lights flickered.

“At last.” from the shadows, a voice emerged. Ben crept forward, fists clenched.

“My boy…” it continued, sinister, it sent his skin crawling, but frail, and worn.

“I have been every voice...” some of the hoodied men parted to make way for the newcomer.

“you have ever heard…inside your head…” the crowd parted to reveal a bloodied Snoke, tied to a chair, and seemingly passed out. Looks like these people, whoever they were, had got to him before he was safely locked away in jail. A few more figures stepped aside to reveal an elderly man, seated, behind a scratched table. It was Palpatine, it had to be. He matched the pictures online, the deep-set eyes and pale skin, rotten teeth, spindly hands. He wore a black suit, but it hung off him like he was nothing but a skeleton.

“He won’t bother you anymore.” Palpatine kicked at Snoke’s chair, where his head slumped into his chest, Ben had assumed he was out cold but he looked, well, lifeless. Fear crept into Ben’s throat, clawing at him as the lights flickered and Palpatine stood with a black cane, tapping towards him.

“But whose orders do you think he was following?” Ben wanted to back away, afraid. What, the fuck, Snoke had been communicating with Palpatine, this whole time. He fucked up, and now he was dead. Somehow this seemed far more than just about highschool football.

“But I can give you everything you’ve ever dreamed of… Captain Kylo Ren.” Palpatine smirked, one of the men spun around a laptop screen. Codes, a database.

“Any college, any football team. You pick. Its all yours.” It was a hack. They had the data for any team, one click and Kylo would be on the list. The absolute dream. Palpatine must have seen the temptation in Ben’s eyes as began to laugh. A snarling, animalistic sneer, the laugh of a predator about to devour their prey. But he had told Snoke to torment me, Ben reminded himself.

“W-why are you doing this for me?” he asked, cursing at his cracking voice.

“You are very special, my boy. You can go far. You know that. I know that.” He paused. “Plus, you can do something for me.”

“What.” Ben spat the word.

“Bring me. The girl.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorrryyy for the hiatus ! idk if anyone will still be reading lol but anyways, it's getting spooky


	11. queen of disaster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> as it turns out, ben isn't the only one to have received a menacing clue. but what lengths will rey go to following an uncertain lead?

Rey concentrated intently on her stretches, out in the park, music flowing through her ears. But it was hard to focus when-

“Rey.” A kind voice approached her, she removed the ear buds. Leia Organa had agreed to continue to coach Rey for her spring/summer track meets. She was mostly retired now, still recovering from illness, but after a lot of begging had agreed to help Rey who was hoping for a sports scholarship, and running was the best chance at that. After everything they had been through last semester, Rey trusted Leia more than any coach she’d ever had, although seeing Ben’s mother almost everyday really wasn’t helpful when-

“Try the usual route. Through the path between the trees. That will give us your mile time well enough. Go on.” She was softly encouraging, doing this out of her own time and with no cost. Rey smiled. Running in the fresh air helped clear her head. No stress about school, about college, her friends, _definitely_ not about Ben, although she couldn’t help but think about him _occasionally_ especially after the news about Palpatine. She was just worried about a friend, yes, just a friend, who she definitely didn’t have feelings for. Her blood pumped and her mind raced, back to the day they’d met, the party, the games, the gym, his car, his house, homecoming, the final, the last day she saw him, what he’d said. Keep this pace, Rey was stern with herself. But the memories were all rushing back, overflowing and richoceting and she was so confused and- SLAM.

Rey was so distracted she had collided straight into a leash with a bouncy golden retriever at one end, and a bemused Poe Dameron at the other.

“BB-8 I’m so sorry! Are you ok?” the dog seemed a little perplexed but began wagging his tail as soon as he saw Rey, panting as she petted him. “I’m really sorry, Poe.” she said.

“Are you alright?” was all he said, “I mean, we were right in front of you but you seemed on another planet.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m ok, really.” she hated Poe’s concerned face and was bummed she had messed up her mile time.

“Well, be glad it was a dog and not a bus you ran into,” joked Poe, still with a look of slight worry. Rey let out a chuckle, heading back to where Leia was waiting.

“Hey, um, Rey? You haven’t had anyone bothering you lately?”

“What?”

“Like, anyone, contacting you, weirdly?”

“Huh?”  
“Its just-“ he rummaged around in his pocket, “you know how Finn borrowed your truck the other day, to go out with Rose?” Rey nodded as he handed her the folded paper.

“He said this was on the driver’s seat. He didn’t know what to do so handed it to me. I think it was meant for you.”

She opened the letter- “wAyFiNdEr. bAr. 8tH aVE. MidNiGht – sHeEv” and then a code; **3X3G01**

“Shit. They went out two nights ago right? I guess I missed it…”

“You weren’t really gonna go though. Rey? Sheev, as in _Palpatine_?”

“What does it mean?”

“The others are coming over to mine later, we can figure it out?”

“One sec…” She jogged over to Leia, who was standing, looking disappointed at her stopwatch.

“Stopped for a chat, huh?”

“I’m sorry Leia, I promise I can do better,” she put her arms on Leia’s shoulders, “I _will_ earn this scholarship…Coach.”

“Hey… Chewie?” Han Solo’s trusty right hand was surprisingly sitting in Poe’s living room, a soda can in hand. Chewie nodded as Rey joined Finn and Rose on the couch.

“Yeah, he’s crashing here while my parents are away, Solo sold their apartment or something.”

Chewie grunted in agreement.

“Han Solo sold their apartment?” she knew that whenever he wasn’t at Leia’s, Mr. Solo could be found in his den-like quarters with his best friend.

“He’s gone super off the grid or something.” Rey was shocked. She hadn’t heard anthing from Leia, maybe they really were distancing her from their family. She was hurt.

“That’s not the issue. Guys, that note is giving me a super threatening vibe.” Rose turned the paper Rey had given her over in her hand.

“Someone’s messing with me now Palpatine has returned. They must know about me and…the Solo family.”

“This is dangerous. You should tell Maz, Rey.” Finn was always the protective brotherly-type.

“Whoever got this to my truck knew it was mine, so knows me well enough. Lives nearby.. or goes to our school…”

“Dude, look at this…” Poe was researching local news on his computer. A body had been found at a bar not too far from their town.

“The bar…its called…”

“The Way Finder…”

“Rey, if you went, you 100% would be dead too.”

“Oh my god..”

“Do we call the cops?” Poe asked.

“No, we have to go for ourselves.”

“Rey! No way in hell.”

“Listen people we know…the Solos, they could be in danger.”

“You can’t go straight there unprotected.” Chewie piped up from across the room.

“We can’t got there _at all_.” Rose was afraid.

“I know a friend, he works at Passana Middle School, and Luke… Luke was preparing for Palpatine’s return, so was looking for a job there. We should go to him.”

“Passana School? That’s like, the other side of town.”

“Guys, we have to try.” Rey gathered her things, heading to the drive for Poe’s car, the others following, Chewie ditching his drink. All except Rose, who hung back, tears in her eyes. Rey was about to turn to her when she heard her name from across the street.

“Rey!” it was Leia, who must have followed her out of worry. “Rey, I saw the news too, you can’t go… its too dangerous.”

“Leia, listen, I know how to get into the bar, to figure this out.”

“The body, they identified it as Snoke.” to Rey’s surprise, she felt a wave of relief. He was a psychopath, maybe it was best he wasn’t around.

“I… I thought… I hadn’t heard from… I thought maybe they’d got… I thought it could have been…”

“_Ben_.” They both said. In that moment, Rey realised she had to follow these clues, for Leia’s sake, and for Ben’s.

**Author's Note:**

> if you are reading, thankyou?! this was only an intro kinda to an idea and i never even considered posting it but its quite fun so here we go i guess, hope you enjoy and more/longer updates soon.


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